Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Some thoughts on getting married!

My boyfriend and I went to the wedding of mutual friends of ours last weekend. It was a wonderfully happy occasion and as far as we could tell everything went exactly according to plan. We had a good time, we met lots of friends and we both ate and drank rather too much!

Somehow though the whole event has left me feeling a bit sad. So much of what goes on a wedding is either done by or organised by the bride’s parents. Every key stage of the event involves them – from sending out the invitations, to escorting the bride down the aisle, to the speeches at the reception and to then paying the bill it is the bride’s parents who are very much “front and centre”.  But when you are an orphan none of these wedding traditions can be done. Dad’s brother has offered to take over my Dad’s role when it is my turn to get married but it just isn’t going to be the same. My Mum and Dad not being at my wedding is always going to be the “elephant in the corner” and I worry that it is going to spoil the day if I simply ignore their absence. If you have watched the film Gladiator you might remember the scene right at the end where Juba says goodbye to his dead friend.  At some point I might paraphrase what he says, perhaps as a part of the toast to “absent friends”, “Mum and Dad if you are looking down at us today remember what Juba says in Gladiator "I will see you again... but not yet... not yet!"
On a happier note I did learn a couple of useful things for when (if?) my turn comes.  Never check the suitability of a venue for the wedding reception when the room to be used is empty of furniture! The room will look much larger and what might seem OK could well turn out to be almost impossibly crowded once tables, chairs and guests have been included. It is perfectly possible to have a lovely wedding without spending a fortune. The happy couple should keep asking themselves, “Are my guests really going to care?” Each and every decision should come down to whether the guests like it, appreciate it, or will notice it at all.

There is still no progress with either set of Grand Parents. As everybody expected Mum's Dad is being mega difficult. He is pretending that he hasn’t got any money to pay me and that “… seeing him in prison should be more than enough compensation.”  I’ve been told that he expected to be sent to a Category D (open) prison and he is furious that this isn’t going to happen. He claims that I have “poisoned people” against him. He can rot where he is a far as I am concerned. Dad's parents are perfectly nice but are hopeless at making decisions - they still don't know where they want to live so they haven't even started "house-hunting"!

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