Sunday, 24 April 2016

Why did I take such a long break from bereavement blogging?

Last night Stewart, my long-time boyfriend,  asked me how long it had been since I wrote a blog entry. I guessed it was a couple of months but when I checked I was shocked to find it was on October 30th 2015! So coming up to 6 months. Oh dear.

My problem is one shared by many bloggers. What I would like to write about people don't seem to want to read and on topics people do want to read about I sometimes feel that I have run out of things to say. 

So what has happened in my life?

CATS - Zero the cat settled in well and all four of us think we made the right decision when we decided to adopt her. Sometimes I think Zero can tell the time because three days running as I was driving down the road to my home I saw Zero walking from her old house towards her new one. It was just as if she knew that I was due back from work. Zero doesn’t choose to understand what “No” means. We didn’t want her upstairs but when we catch her on the stairs and say “No, Zero” she just stops, looks at me and then carries on anyway. Clearly Zero thinks she is the boss of the house.

Zero's decision to stop going to her former home was quite sudden and now she lives with us all the time. Her bed is in the kitchen which is a nice warm room. That seems to be important for cats as they get older. She doesn’t eat much, again rather like an old person, but she does like to have lots of stroke while we are watching the television.

BEREAVEMENT GROUP - Running the Bereavement Group at school is hard work but worthwhile. It is really sad how many children lose a parent or a sibling – of course I know first hand that it can takes years before you get over something like that so once somebody joins the group they often stay as a member for a few years. It is the boys that find it hardest. They are trained not to show emotion or to cry in public and sometimes that is exactly what they need to do! There is enormous solidarity within the group and that makes my job easier.

MY JOB - As a NQT (newly qualified teacher) I am on a reduced timetable for my first three terms and I also got quite a bit of support from my mentor but even with all this extra help I feel fairly worn out. Stewart is similarly tired out so we are like a middle-aged couple rather than just youngsters. The annual craft fair was recently held at school. Stewart and I went along although we didn’t spend very much. I’ve been told that some of the year 11, 12 and 13 boys were disappointed to find out I had a boyfriend – I supposed I should be flattered that these youngster take an “interest” in me. I thought the orchestra and drama club performed at a very high quality level so clearly some staff must have spent ages working with them.

MODELLING - The modelling course my friend and house-mate Sally and I did for the authors and illustrators of erotic literature was the most fun we have ever had on a course. The ladies were lovely, but rather eccentric, and the time spend modelling went very quickly. Doing the very tasteful and mild lesbian poses was an experience. It is a good job that we know each other so well otherwise I don’t think we would have wanted to do some of the poses. Standing over her with a blood-soaked sword was also rather strange!

FAMILY AND FRIENDS -  We have been a bit worried about not having made many new friends recently so we were pleased when fate provided us with two married couples who live nearby (they house-share) who have lots in common with us. It was all a bit spooky because one of them is a girl I had met before a couple of times but in a totally different town. I think the two wives are sisters although I might be wrong. They were both brought up in a Children's Home for a few years after major family problems.  

It is looking quite likely that Sally and her boyfriend Mark will be moving out of my home sometime over the summer. We have always agreed that they will give me 3 months notice although the legal requirement is just 1 month. We have all lived together for several years and it will be strange, and not very nice, if they do move away.

Dad's brother and Mum's sister came to see me recently. When they said they were coming I just knew that it was going to be something to do with Nan or Granddad. It turned out to be something to do with both of them. Nan has been saying for ages that she wants to divorce Granddad and she has finally done something about it and she has seen a solicitor. Once Granddad, still in prison of course, found out about it he was very, very angry and hired a solicitor of his own. He got his solicitor to write a letter blaming Nan for quite a lot of the financial, mental and physical abuse that I suffered. The letter was sent to Dad's brother and Mum's sister demanding that they help him fight the divorce settlement that Nan is demanding. The man is totally bonkers of course.

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