Tuesday, 13 January 2015

How would Mum would have rated my performance?

5 years after she was killed I wonder what Mum would have thought of how I have turned out? 

Relationships - She would certainly have approved of Stewart - my long-term boyfriend - and if for some reason she didn't approve of us living together she would have kept her views firmly to herself. She would also have liked both my house-mates. They feel like the brother and sister that I was never lucky enough to have and Mum would have known exactly why that would have mattered so much to me. 

Family - She would be shocked that her Dad was in prison but not shocked at what he had been sentenced for. Sexual predators like leopards don't change their spots! Mum would be pleased that I now have a close relationship with her sister but probably would be surprised that I see so little of my cousins. 

The house - This was always Mum's domain and her responsibility. There have been a lot of cosmetic changes and a few structural ones since I inherited it but the basic arrangement of the rooms has stayed the same. It probably isn't quite as tidy as she would have kept it herself but by student standards it is amazingly good. Mum was never a particular fan of "cooking from the raw materials" so she wouldn't be stressed by how the four of eat most days. She would have approved that we always eat at the table and that we almost always eat together.  

The garden - Neither Mum nor Dad were interested in gardening. Both the back and front gardens were low maintenance affairs - and they still are. The only significant change is that in the back garden there are a numbers of plants and shrubs that were donated by people in memory of the two of them. I keep this section tidiest of all and if I do ever move away all these gifts will have to come with me. 

The neighbours - Mum always felt that it was important not to get into arguments with people living near by and especially not if they were next-door neighbours! When Mum and Dad were alive our family never regarded the neighbours as friends but they certainly were not enemies either. And I think that still is where I am. I don't think the neighbours were thrilled at the thought of having four students living in their mega respectable street but once they found out that we knew how to behave they seemed to accept us. There seems to have been a lot of coming and going in the houses closest to mine; with several of them being rented out by absentee owners. Most of the incomers are on 6-month rolling leases so they don't seem to bother much about integrating with the rest of us.  

Career - Mum would be pleased that I am training to be a teacher and so following in her footsteps. She would smile that I am doing my major teacher training block where she used to work. 

Mourning her death - Above everything Mum would be relieved that I am not still in deep mourning for her and for Dad. I have indeed found closure which is exactly what she would have wanted and what she would have expected to happen.  

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