I'm starting a "post-bereavement blog".

Mum came to see me in a dream this week. What made it both special and unusual was that she wasn't with Dad. Now all through my childhood is was always Mum and Dad as a team, a united loving team so to be with Mum but not with Dad seemed strange. In the dream I knew that she was dead but I wasn't quite sure if I was dreaming or if I had also died and this was the longed for reunion.

It turned into one of the "special talks" we had sometimes as I was growing up. Always loving, always frank and always remembered. The first one was when a girl in the year above me at primary school died. Mum talked to me about dying, carefully choosing words and concepts that I would understand. I stopped being scared and confused so when Dad asked me about what had happened I could tell him how I was feeling. Parental team work!  We had other talks before and after my periods started and from 13 to 16 a whole series of non-stressful talks about sex, relationships and even female masturbation.

This time she told me - "I will wait for you, do you understand? No matter how long. I will watch from inside your head to make sure you live every year you have to its full. Then we’ll have so much to talk about when Dad and I see you again". 

Which all leads me rather neatly to my blog. Writing my bereavement blog has been helpful to me and from the feedback I have received it has also been helpful to other people. But times change, priorities change and in my case I have changed as well. 

I want to keep blogging but not hammering away about and around the same few topics. I would like to start a "post-bereavement blog" so once I get my exam results and once Granddad's trial is over that is what I am going to do.