It was mid-afternoon by the time all the guests had left and
I was ready to go home. Well, not really home, better to call it the place
where I was a paying guest - a rather unwelcome paying guest at that. Nan,
especially, was somewhat deaf so during my first few days with them I had been
able to hear some confidential exchanges between them that had made the
position totally clear. They didn’t want me there and that was just what I
didn’t need.
Nan and Granddad did
their trademark slightly condescending goodbye and thank you to the manager.
Then off the three of us went in their car. We hadn’t even left the car park
before Granddad turned on me with a whole series of bitter recriminations about
my “antics” at the funeral. He was, he claimed, “bitterly ashamed” of me. On
and on he went getting crosser but less coherent by the minute. This continued until
we got back to their house.
I was worn out both mentally and physically so I went to my
room to get some peace and quiet and above all some privacy so that I could
have a cry without my Grand Parents noticing. After about half an hour I had
calmed down enough to get changed and to have a quick wash in the bathroom next
door.
I didn’t want to see either of them as I had a premonition
that round two was about to kick off. I made it as far as the kitchen unnoticed
and started to make myself a cup of coffee. But as soon as Granddad heard the
sound of the kettle starting to boil he was out of his favourite seat and into
the kitchen like he was jet propelled.
He didn’t speak and so I made the mistake of turning my back
on him. I cannot remember Mum and Dad
ever hitting me so it caught me by surprise when Granddad suddenly hit me hard
on my bottom with his hand. It didn’t hurt much and when I had retreated to my
bedroom I found myself trying to make excuses for him and hoping that now the
funeral was over things in the house would soon calm down.
They didn’t.
It sounds like things are really tough for you! Have you thought about seeing a counsellor? If you are being hit you might need to try and get some help. Think about if where you are is the best place for you right now?!
ReplyDeleteI should have done and you are 100% right.
ReplyDelete